Ever wanted someone else's job?

Lunch hour top 10 things you may or may not know about me:

1:: I once had a picture shown on 'Take Hart'
2:: I can name at least six different varieties of potato (and say 'I am a potato' in 10 languages)
3:: I have a retroverted uterus. If I had lived in an earlier century, I would've been called a witch and burnt at the stake for this
4:: I love cats
5:: I hate Terry's Chocolate Orange yet other people seem to love it. *Twitch*
6:: I was captain of the hockey team for five years (centre-half)
7:: I can dislocate my left shoulder when I feel like it
8:: My middle name is Jane
9:: I get really pissed off with dawdlers and meanderers - just get there for chrissake
10:: I've never been a bridesmaid

Wondered when this would happen.

My life is complete. My pussy pants have arrived. Design your own. Oh, for those of you who won't get the pleasure of seeing them first-hand, here they are.

Almost as much fun as writing your name with silver sparklers.

Things stupid and said.

Even geeks can be sexy, especially when covered in chalk - mmm!

Things I like to do in my spare time.

Just read in The Sunday Times Style magazine that 'the coolest social soirees are more about conversation than canapes', the point being that fewer people want to go clubbing, more want to enjoy edifying conversation at cultural salons such as Salon des Amis and for geeks dorkbot.

So that's another thing to be inadequate in. Thankfully my chocolate chip cookies turned out okay, so I am a worthwhile creature after all.

Things I have consistently wanted and consistently forgotten to buy:

5 years: 1 tiny screwdriver, to loosen the metal bands around my smashed glass cafetiere
3 years: 1 hot water bottle, gave my last one away
10 years: Pale Saints ‘The Comforts of Madness‘, my (actually, Mike’s, cough, ahem) last one got stuck in Sam Hull’s CD player and as far as I know, it’s still there
1 1/2 years: set of teaspoons to match my lovely David Mellor rest of set, as bought for me by Emily on my 30th birthday
2 months: boxes to archive old photos
3 years: bath mat
8 months: black umbrella
6 years: a decent bloody bread knife


If anyone would like to lend (permanent basis only), or buy any of the above, do let me know. If anyone would like to tell me how to get my arse into gear and just buy them, do also let me know.

And finally...word of the lunch hour...captious...

And see what happens when you bot-mix books.

See if people born on the same day as you, think like you.

You know when you find out that a word doesn't mean what you thought it meant, at all?

Similar vein, one of my favourite childhood books, 'The tree that sat down' is by an author called Beverley Nichols, who I discovered not five minutes ago is, in fact, a man.

How can this be? Entire childhood now in question.