Circa 1980, the Mannin Hotel. Huge twin bedroom with vertical patterned flock wallpaper, one light fitting, a sink in the corner of the room, thin carpet. One sash window, looking inward over aluminium kitchen vents, a bathroom a grope away down a shadowy corridor. Dinner on the dot, with glasses of fruit juice served as a starter. Plate of meat and two veg, rounded off with trifle or some other sweet luxury. Rarely wine, never coffee. Always a walk down the promenade.

Strange when a memory comes back to you so suddenly and strongly.

No, just no, no, no.

Good words, to be used any time you like in my company: fizz, ocean, sugar, lemon, meadow

Bad words, to be removed from common usage: smear, passage, membrane

You can't see Teen Farm Girls Have Sex with their animals Free here, mate.

Huzzah, fifth highest referrer on Google for "animal porn farm".

It's a great day.

After the best part of ooh, must've been four hours sleep, got up, burnt toast, spilt coffee twice, got shuffled on the tube, went to pick up a parcel from the Post Office, which naturally, was the furthest unit away on the estate, tripped in the road, then the first person I saw was the man who stops whatever he's doing to stand and stare after me, am finally in work looking at the first blue sky I've seen in about seven days.

A quick typetease.

And on a word teasing front, can someone please tell me why I've heard the phrase 'daisy-cutter' three times in two days?

A classic question to ponder.

Horizontal things to do on a Sunday at Tate Modern. Go and see Sigmar Polke; that's an order.

Terry Tuby, Anel Smutts, Richard Sheath, Edwardo Bastardo, Waqar A Butt, Suzanne J Cockaday, Ricardo Cunto, Beat Dick, Randy L Fackler, Tory S Gaylord, John Knoblock, Francisco Ponce, Porntip Pornpakdeewatana, Willam T Ristoff, Timothy Titcomb, Dick Woodcraft, Wankyu Choi, Ladislav Fuks, Spunk Ichiban, Dr Murat Kunt, Larry Poos, JJ Prick, Winifred Slagg, Martin Wank, Thomas Wanker, William Paul Wanker, Dick Fokker, Quim Boix, Sean Biggerstaff, Gay Head, Gaye Pope, Randy Duck, Randy Gaylord, Randy Ringer, Lord and Lady Bastard, Roger Bumpass, Skip Collector and Dong Dong Dong.

Thanks to Menace for the link to these real rude names.

What happens when mum finds out?

'We wanted to show the cost of war, unedited, not in the way you'd see on the news."

"Well, yuh, I know. I know that war is terrible, and that terrible things happen, but well, yuh know, I just don't like films where the journalist becomes the story."

Because of course, you wouldn't trot it out after every dinner party for the next 147 years, if you'd been the journalist, would you? Yuh?

Overhead in the coffee queue, in reaction to a film shown on Panorama.

Are you here to look for animal porn? Wankers!

And thanks to takeoneonion for this real time running tube map.

Please would someone explain to me why anyone would wear shoes indoors? Euw.

Big shout going out to Mandy, elloh Mandy.

For my birthday I got a copy of Dave Haslam's 'Manchester, England'. Just one look at the cover is enough for me to reminisce about orange buses, rain, the Hacienda (where were you?), LuvDup, day-glo hearts, iD, The Face, The Battered Cod, Dry201, Eastern Bloc, Tuesday nights at the Academy, Car Wash, sticking bangers up cat's arses (that's not true), nicking tracksuits (also not true), summer pints on the grass outside, Rusholme curries, and the PSV club.