Father wants to sacrifice daughter, mum doesn't like that too much. Daughter decides it's a good thing. In more detail, go see Iphigenia at Aulis. It's also got that bloke from 'Cutting it' in it.

Whoever said getting broadband was easy? Am finally online with all the speed of an arcing arrow, and it's ruddy great. Why didn't I do this years ago? Pipex, £19.99 a month, with enoughMB download to keep me happy. Although...watch this space.

Spent some of the weekend in a Bristolian field at the Ashton Court Festival. Many many people of all shapes and sizes, a true community affair. I wasn't tempted to buy anything in purple or with starry glitter. Best bits: lying in a G&T haze, eating too much and going on fantastic chairoplanes, which you can hire. For your own garden. Beats swinging a cat I suppose.

The Internet arrived in a box today, good morning ADSL!

More bollocks from my in-tray:

bursty at mackinaw oreven defendant as in facto.
Marco was at claustrophobia when that happened anodic.
We met at lowland and went to shrine wher we had lunch at animism.It was trend and a coeditor was had anchorite by all.

Thank you Popbitch. Eric (son of Kirk) Douglas, who died this week, tried his hand at stand-up comedy back in the 80s. He had some success in Las Vegas and brought his, frankly dreadful, act to London. On the first night Eric gets about two jokes in before the heckling begins. Used to respect from audiences because he was the son of one of America's best loved actors Eric was surprised at the hostile reaction. Eventually he snapped and screamed "You can't treat me like this... I'm the son of Kirk Douglas!"

After a very brief pause, a wag at the back of the audience stood up and shouted "No! I'M the son of Kirk Douglas"...then someone else stood up and shouted "No! I'M the son of Kirk Douglas" and so on. Eric left the stage in tears.

How many people did you touch today? I can remember: random people on the tube, the woman in the Post Office, IM, KC, KJ, the woman in Tesco, random people in queues, LC, AO and KA (these two being proper shake-hands kind of touching), the man with the keys, the man in the local shop.

Not too bad going. What about you?