A funny thing happened on the way to...work. Some bloke got on the tube, howling, tearing at himself and laughing. As he sat down, the two seats either side were immediately vacated. After a couple of stops, he got off.

Now tell me, would anyone who'd seen him sit there move to sit in the same seat? No. But the two vacated seats were immediately filled. Perhaps his odour was contagious.

Dear Tesco

I'm eating a 'Tuna layered salad bowl' for lunch.

I think you'll find it's 'Tuna layered with salad in a bowl'.

Yours

Vic

A new term for too loud music: annoiseyness. (Did you know...if you're standing two metres apart from someone and you have to shout to be heard, then you're damaging your hearing. Apparently.)