Spent a lovely weekend with my good friends M and N in Leeds, going up hill, down dale, fording rivers, wrestling sheep, visiting Armley, Wortley, Bumley, Ilkley, Arsely, drinking tea and eating toast.

As we've known each other for some 30 years, there are a fair few in-jokes to share, so for our benefit only, here's a few that reduce us to tears and make us helpless with laughter:

Slack Alice, Mister Smith, Smiling Albert, Spudge, Now then, Remember your name, That desk's 250 years old you know, Get off my antique furniture, Polished Grin, Go easy, Don't forget where you're from, Charged, Ooh you bugger, Bloody hell Victoria, Bolmes, I don't know what yer grandfather would've said, Tuesdee nights, and the pièce de résistance: That mattress doesn't belong to you.

Your own contributions welcome.

Let's see if we find them funny.